Well, this is a special day and a special day like this demands that we give our special attention to the matter of motherhood, being a wife and mother, a matter to which the Word of God speaks very explicitly. And I would draw your attention, if I might, to Proverbs chapter 31…Proverbs chapter 31, to look together at the Word of God and its instruction on the subject of an excellent wife.
You know, it’s amazing how our society has changed in its perception of a woman and her role. And I don’t mean that it has changed over the several thousand years since Proverbs 31 was written, but it seems to me that it has changed in the last 20 or 30 years. It seems to me, at least in my own life time, there was a portion of my life in which our society could at least understand and affirm the pattern of an excellent wife given in Proverbs 31. But in the last 30 years or so our society has moved so far from these principles that it may seem almost ludicrous to imagine a woman of the eighties fitting in to the mold of the standards given here in Proverbs 31.
What kind of a woman does our society honor? Who is the honored woman of the eighties? Who is the prototype woman of the eighties? What is the modern super-woman like? If our society and our culture could design a woman, what would that woman be like?
Well let me see if I can’t pull it together for you. She would work at a job, build her own career, demand and get equal pay with men. She would refuse to submit to her husband, demanding equality with him in everything. She would have an affair or two or three, a divorce or two or three, an abortion or two. She would definitely exercise her independence. She would make sure that she was imminently fulfilled herself. She would rely on her own resources. She would not want her husband or children to threaten her personal goals. She would have her own bank account. She would hire a maid or cleaning service. She would eat out at least 50 percent of the time with her family or without. She would make cold cereal and coffee the standard breakfast fare for the family and quick-frozen meals usual dinner fare, and she would certainly expect her husband to do half the housework. She would be tanned, coiffured, arobicized, bulging with muscle. She would be shopping to keep up with the fashion trends and make sure she could compete in the attention getting contest. She would put her children in a day-care center, making sure that each one also had a TV in his or her room so that when they were home they wouldn’t interrupt her routine. She would be opinionated. She would demand to be heard from and eager to fulfill all of her personal ambition. The world would applaud her and she wouldn’t be able to stay married or happy and her kids would probably be into drugs. But she would be the woman of the eighties. And she is a million miles from the woman of God described in Proverbs 31.
Do you understand that the book of Proverbs is a collection of wisdom that fathers and mothers were to give to their children? Do you understand that it was common in a Jewish family for a father to teach his sons the truths of this book? And not only a father, but a mother for on several occasions it says, “Not to forsake the instruction of your mother.” This was basically the composite practical manual for living that Jewish parents taught their children.
Now one of the very most important things that children needed to learn was directed at the young boys. And that was how to select the right woman. In fact, earlier on in the book of Proverbs young men are warned against the wrong kind of woman, the adulteress who flatters with her lips, the adulteress who forsakes her own husband, breaks covenant and entertains a union with someone else, the adulteress whose lips drip honey but who brings about death and destruction, the smooth-tongued adulteress who hunts for the precious life to make him her prey. Proverbs warns against the noisy woman, the quarrelsome woman, the rebellious woman, the foolish woman. And the sons of Israel were to be warned to stay away from and avoid all such women.
In chapter 12 of Proverbs and verse 4 it says, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband but she who shames him is as rotten as in his bones.” Find an excellent wife, stay away from anything less. And so the warnings have been given. In chapter 19 and verse 14 there comes a hopeful truth. It says, “A prudent wife is from the Lord, a wise wife, a virtuous wife, a godly wife is a gift from God.” So all the way through this marvelous book of wisdom there is instruction about what kind of woman to avoid and to pursue the excellent woman, the excellent wife who is a gift from God.
It’s interesting to me that the final chapter of Proverbs is chapter 31, that all the instruction given sort of climaxes at this point. And what you have in chapter 31 is the final lesson from a parent to a child. In this case, from a mother to her son. Verse 1 tells us that these are the words of King Lemuel, he wrote them down, but they are the oracle which his mother taught him. Here we have an unknown mother, we don’t know anything about King Lemuel, this is the only time his name is ever mentioned. We don’t know anything about his mother but here is a Jewish mother who taught her son how to pick a woman. And a lot of other very important things as well. And this is her wisdom given to him.
In verse 2, “What, O my son? And what, O son of my womb? And what, O son of my vows?” In other words, what do I say to you? How do I instruct you? What do I tell you? The first thing I tell you is don’t get involved in sexual immorality, do not give your strength to women. That’s what that means. Don’t get involved in living in sexual misconduct.
Then on down to verse 7 and following even, down to verse 9, she says, “Stay away from drunkenness, strong drink. Take care of hurting people. Defend those who can’t defend themselves. Stand by the oppressed. Support the needy and deal justly with all people.” And gives him a wide range of practical truth. But then she comes to the real issue on her heart which he passes on to us. “Most of all, my son, find a good wife…find a good wife. With her you will spend your life, she will determine your earthly accomplishments and set the perimeters of your living and your influence. Find a good wife.” And from verse 10 to 31 such a wife is described.
“This article originally appeared here at Bible Bulletin Board.”
