Well the Discovery Channel has quite a unique television program on it at the present moment entitled, Man versus Wild. Some of you may have heard of this particular show. It kind of strikes your attention whenever you watch it because what happens is this, the host of the show whose name is Bear Grylls is actually dropped off in some unknown territory. It could be 120 degrees, it could be -30 degrees and he is expected to survive with nothing more than the clothes that are on his back. At the present moment Bear Grylls is actually found in the jungles of the panama if you watching this particular program.
I started wondering as I was thinking about Man versus Wild. How many of you men here this morning, I mean the real menly men, now most of you don’t have a cool name like Bear Grylls but some of you are named Ed and Ted but you are here this morning and you would say that without any doubt you feel like you could survive difficult circumstances. You could survive if someone dropped you off in an unknown territory with just the clothes that are on your back. So what I want to do this morning, if that’s you, I want to give you a little test to see if it is true.
Let’s pretend just a moment you’re dropped off in the Everglades. You’re in the middle of the swamp. The swamp has an estimated average of one million alligators. There are two major questions I’m going to ask you this morning to see whether or not you would survive in the Everglades.
The first question I’m going to ask you is this, What would you do first? What would you do first? Here are the answers you can give and its multiple choice so pay very close attention. Wives, you may need to help your husbands. What would you do first? You’re dropped off in the Everglades. Would you take off your shoes so you don’t get stuck in the mud? Number two, would you make a raft? Number three, would you arm yourself with a long hard stick? Or number four, would you wrap yourself in cabbage palm leaves for camouflage.
Those are your four questions, so let me get them real quickly. By a show of hands, if you were dropped off in the Everglades with a population of one million alligators would you men, ladies if you want to play you can lift your hand up too, but men, how many would take off your shoes first so you wouldn’t get stuck in the mud. Slip your hands up. Very quickly. No body? Don’t be afraid. God bless you Charles. So he would take his shoes off and all of the alligators would run because we’ve seen his feet. I’m just kidding.
Number two, how many of you would make a raft? Let’s slip our hands up here. Ok, alright, about 7 or 8 of y’all. How many of you guys would arm yourselves with a long hard stick? Slip your hand up, very quickly. Very good, alright, y’all are ready. Then number four, how many of you would wrap yourself in cabbage palm leaves for camouflage. God bless you sir. I said the same thing.
The answer is this; you should get yourself a stick. So if you said stick, you would survive.
Now, hold on men, you’re not done. Just because you got a stick don’t mean your going to survive. You understand. There is another question I’ve got to ask you this morning and that is this. In your march through the swamp to find dry land and you see bubbles percolating in the water near you, what should you do? Four choices. Would you keep trudging, its probably just swamp gases eking up out of the water. Number 2, would you get up out of the water as fast as you can because it could be an alligator. Number 3, turtles are the only animals that make bubbles under water so dive down and catch dinner. Would you do that? Number 4, would you jab your stick into the bubbles because it’s likely to be an alligator and you must attack it before it attacks you.
So there’s your for answers, so lets all see how many of you, by a show of hands, men, ladies if you want to play that’s fine. How many of you would just keep on trudging, its probably just swamp gases eking out. 3 or 4 of you. RJ, God bless you. Good deal. Number 2, how many of you would get out of the water as fast as you possibly can because it could be an alligator. Look at you guys, very good. You bunch of chickens. Then, number 3, how many of you would say that’s a turtle down there let me get some lunch. Slip it up. God bless you, lady, sir. God bless you sir, that’s right. Number 4, how many of you would jab into the bubbles because it’s likely to be an alligator and you must attack it before it attacks you. Slip your hand up. Y’all are crazy. That’s all I want to say to you.
What you should do is get out of the water, according to the experts, and find a tree and climb up it because the alligator will eat you. I think it’s funny that you’re going to jab your stick at an alligator.
Most of you would agree this morning that you are not going to be dropped off in some unknown region and expected to survive. However, many of you husbands would have to agree that when you got married…(can I get a witness)… you were dropped off in the middle of nowhere. Clothes on your back and expected to survive in the wild. You’ve got learn to survive this wild thing called marriage. You’ve got to learn to survive this wild woman everybody else calls your wife. So you’ve got to be ready.
